[Friday
April 22nd, 2005 at 9:22am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

She is not here anymore. The person that i was the person i was becomeing. She is gone. and all that is left is a scared little girl. I want to run far away far from the people i know i am hurting far from the people i am going to hurt. I think i might.
I cant find a job.
My marrage is failing and its all my falt. He is wonderful but i am not longer who he married. I am me and i am different. I know he will beat him self up and i worry that something bad will happen. Please no one feel sorry for me. Feel sorry for him please hate me and comfort him. Because he is good and deserves some one who loves him.

I need to find me i need to find what i am going to be what i should be. i am lost and i must find me again.
I dont care if you hate me i can not change how you feel i can not change how i feel. And sadly i dont feel bad. I feel bad becasue i am hurting you and that is all.
I am sorry.